Merlin and Managed Services Marketing in the Mindscape of Time
Managed services marketing in the Cronenberg world was… different. David and Johannes made eye contact across writhing live-machines of the alternate timeline where Best Bug replaced Best Buy and all devices were alive. Johannes said: “How’d you get here?”
“Same as you— this hourglass. I found one the same as yours, but different.” David held out his matching hourglass.
Immediately Johannes produced his own. Both were precisely the same. They began to glow—
“DON’T LET THEM TOUCH!”
Both men jumped. Merlin’s face appeared on every bug-eyed screen of the bizarro Cronenberg Best Buy. “Did that come through?” he asked.
“We heard you! Why can’t we let them touch?” replied Johannes
“It’ll create a paradoxically anomalous time-space discontinuity. Nobody will ever get to sell managed services marketing, cutting-edge consultation, or anything else again! You’ve shifted through time’s ‘mind,’ and both hourglasses are real, but unreal. They can only be combined at the correct coordinates!”
Johannes sighed. “Okay… how do we get back to our own habitations, Merlin?”
“Defeat Erdy Michaels— he’s the reason all this happened. After you gave him that wedgie and disappeared, he plotted revenge for weeks. When he couldn’t find the tech, he went off and spent his fortunes trying to source that which gave you power. He succeeded but bankrupted his company. Well, he traveled back in time with the stylistic time machine you now hold in your hands. He was trying to reach you, but you were discussing an ad campaign with a client. By then, he was 97. Before you could address him, he had a heart attack. So I got all the data on his device, saved it to a hard-drive, and buried it in a kind of temporal Hadoop. Now all you’ve got to do is give it back to the Erdy Michaels contemporary with your timeline, and he’ll never develop it in the first place, meaning it never comes to exist, everything will go back to normal, timelines will resolve, the time-mind resumes sanity, and you’ll encounter the hard-drive and still be able to provide supernatural managed services marketing with the MSP SEO Factory touch.”
David spoke up: “You mean:
• Brainstorming with clients
• Approving content
• Circulating content
• Promoting campaigns through guest blogs
…and all the rest?”
“Exactly,” Merlin smiled.
Restoring Temporal Order
Johannes looked at David, David looked at Johannes, then they stood back to back and twisted their hourglasses. They soon materialized in Erdy Michaels’ office, where they combined the hourglass and its reflection into a single unit before the little man. With a bright flash, one hourglass remained. Johannes gave it to Erdy.
The world seemed to… well, to rewind, like a videotape. David and Johannes were walking up the stairs to MSP SEO Factory’s main office. Johannes opened the door—
The office was neat and ordered. “I feel… I’m missing something,” Johannes wondered.
“Yeah, me—” and when Johannes turned around, David had disappeared— lost in the intricacies of time, having never started a working relationship with Johannes in the first place. Soon, the memory of David faded. When Johannes went to sit behind his desk, the hard drive resting there with a note from his IT guy, Merlin, remained in its box for a long while before he dared examine it.