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IT services marketing | May 28, 2017

IT Services Marketing and Time Travel: Good Bedfellows?

IT Services MarketingJohannes had a feeling of undefined loss, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was like… it was like something had been excised from his life. His IT services marketing firm was doing well, clients were increasing, and yet…

Tech wizard Merlin, a pudgy argyle-fond lad in the development and implementation division of MSP SEO Factory, showed up out of nowhere. Well, not all of him. Specifically: his head. Johannes was sitting behind his desk in his pristine office, wondering what he was missing, when suddenly Merlin’s face appeared eight feet tall and six wide in the middle of the room like some sci-fi plot point.

“JOHANNES!”

“AH!”

“SORRY, LET ME TURN THIS THING DOWN,” abruptly the head shrank to a hologram that was proportionate, but still without a body. “Johannes…”

“Merlin?”

“I’m not the Merlin you know. I’m Merlin from the timeline of Steve Jobs.”

“What? You mean the recently-deceased entrepreneur responsible for Apple computers?”

“Yes and no! You knew him as David.”

“David….”

“There was a discontinuity in time, Johannes. Look at the hourglass on your desk.”

“What hour…” Suddenly Johannes noticed an hourglass on his desk. Had that always been there? “Has this always been here?”

“You brought it in with you from the fields of time.”

“The fields of time?”

“Your memory is clouding as the present timeline overcomes your previous experiences. That is as I had intended, but unfortunately, on the quantum level, the universe is unraveling, and it’s up to you to fix it.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re the reason it’s unraveling!”

Shock and Awe

“I am not!”

“You are too! You gave Erdy Michaels a nuclear wedgie and he spent the rest of his life trying to get back at you, and right before he did, invented that hourglass time machine!”

At this Johannes threw his head back and laughed: “I gave Erdy Michaels a nuclear wedgie? Well good on me then!” And he jokingly patted himself on the back.

At that moment, a cat the size of a Christmas ham threw a vortex to Johannes’ right, screamed like a cat caught in a vortex does, then smacked into the wall on the opposite side of his office, freaked out, and ran under a couch where it commenced to growling. “It’s the cat who flies through walls!” Johannes exclaimed, jumping up from his desk.

The Stakes Just Keep Getting Higher

The room started to become translucent, and Merlin’s face began to solidify. “Yes and no. You only have about thirty seconds before everything implodes. You have to go back in time and stop yourself, Johannes. You’ve got to fix this or IT services marketing for your organization will never be able to provide clients:

• Top-Tier Services
• Cutting Edge Solutions
• Content Distributed Through Top Guest-Blogs
• Optimized Content
• Proper Promotion

…ever again!”

Johannes swallowed. “Hey, at least I’ll be able to see the future and market accordingly, right?”

“Less talking, more time traveling!” Merlin exclaimed.

Johannes picked up the hourglass, and an indefinable feeling of dread and excitement began to fill the void inside. “Well, if it’s for IT services marketing—”

“It’s for Steve/David and the universe! But yes, it’s for marketing, too.”

“—well then I’m all for it!” And Johannes grasped the hourglass…


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